Sunday, January 31, 2010


It seems there is always 10 million things that need my attention at any given moment of any day. Sometimes I want peace or a moment of silence. Those moments are few and far between but I know that some day I may (will) wish I could have back all the millions of moments that demanded my attention. The chaos seems never ending at the moment and it is hard to imagine life without the kids here and without work being so demanding. I can't imagine them leaving home and not hearing the fighting, the laughter, the dancing and playing that we are now privilidged to witness. I wish so many times I could go back and cuddle with them and share bath time and story time and just spend time sitting with them. I do have moments with my children that I cherish. The other night when my daughter was so upset and I spent hours in her room with her listening to her and aching for her because of the saddness and pain she was feeling. All time stood still and I forgot about dinner cooking in the oven that thankfully even though our chicken legs cooked for 2 hours instead of 1 she needed me the most. I was so shocked when I noticed it was 9:15 on a school night and dinner had not been served. I felt so guilty and like I had failed but now I realize that dinner can wait but my kids can't. I am so glad I could be there for her when she needed me. I will always remember how I was there for her not how I felt bad about a dinner served hours too late. No body starved to death and my daughter went to sleep that night instead of crying, or texting all night. She said she felt better and thanked me for being there. For a moment like that when she is almost 18 I am greatful. She doesn't hate me. After all I am a strict parent who doesn't know how it is.........


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